using my inside voice

The final full-time workday blues

Lifestyle & Culture | May 10, 2009

Hmmmm... what a conundrum. Who would have thought that you'd wake up on your last day of full-time work and feel melancholy? Alas, that was the case this morning when I tumbled out of bed, bleary-eyed and sleepy.

I think the anticipation of finally finishing up work has almost been too much, in that, of late, it's actually been keeping me awake at night and sending my dreams spiraling into strange places. So, there I was at work all day feeling a bit off and somewhat strange and not at all as excited as I thought I should be.

A few things did alleviate the ambivalence, starting with a celebratory last-day latte from my best buddy and office-mate. You can't complain about that right?

The 1.5 hour meeting at 9.30am didn't help much, but soon after plans were made for a sushi lunch to celebrate the final full-time day.

3 sushi rolls and a bloated tummy later I was back at my computer contemplating a vending-machine chocolate. Of course there were upsides and downsides to that plan. The upside being the chocolatey goodness and hedonistic pleasure of the treat as it melted on my tongue. The downside was that while my mood was lifted momentarily, the sugar high was destined to come crashing down around 2.30pm. And it did.

Now, I'm sure you must wonder how with all this thinking, musing and general over-analyzing I got any work done - me too - but I did. Multi-tasking while high on wasabi and caffeine is the ultimate in office culture. Combine moderately healthy take out with sugary caffeinated candy and the work verily rolls of the finger tips and into MS Word. It's quite the phenomenon; that filling a human body with inadequate fuels plus a stimulate of some sort can keep employees chugging through work on a daily basis, the world over.

But, I digress. So, it rolls around to 3pm and I'm waiting and hoping the delirious happiness I expected comes crashing down on me at some time in the next 1.5 hours. Alas, the time passed and I was left at my desk simply watching the minutes tick past.

Maybe once I pack for my weekend in the Okanagan things will perk up? Maybe when I sit down to a glass of wine and Thai Curry for dinner I will feel release? Maybe when the sun comes out tomorrow I'll feel some sense of freedom and ecstasy?

Logically I know I'm happy that things are coming to an end and that I will be moving on. But it's also tinged with sadness, leaving behind all the people and places that have become so dear over the past 3 years. I suppose I never anticipated this, being focused solely on the end goal of being at one with my backpack and traipsing from place to place. As the first in a series of familiar daily occurrences that will not only come to an end, but may likely never happen again, I went in unprepared for the real impact of today. So, I finish up full-time work with unexpected sadness, leaving behind some wonderful colleagues, some not-so-wonderful colleagues, and a special few who made the transition from colleague to friend.

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About Bay Oliver

Bay's career has been many and varied due to a penchant for traveling the world. After completing a double degree in Business Management and Journalism at the University of Queensland in 2002 she was lucky enough to land herself a job at Brisbane's Quest Community Newspapers. A year of roving reporting brought the epiphany that journalism and Bay didn't jive.
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Categories of Published Work

Okanagan Weekend

Published: August 29, 2008

The Okanagan Valley has a plentiful supply of gorgeous wines to taste.

Okanagan Weekend DONE

Published: September 4, 2008

A weekend of wine comes to an end.