vague uncertainties

you know me - leave me that way.

Poetry | March 13, 2010

it was me
taped to the edge of your bed
exactly where you left me
tugging at my ankles and holding on
fingers clenching, wrapped in the sheet

my arms were never long enough to reach you

it was cold in january
but that's not how you found me
not struggling
not flitting about like a tiny bird
i was there
right there

standing by the bar
quiet but listening
looking for more
but never expecting you
to whisper kissing in my ear
and that’s when i jumped

jumped into you like it was my last chance at love
there was never anything less than we were
and the chances that i was so wrong
are pretty fucking good

but it was still me
sitting on the kitchen counter
chain smoking in your darkness
listening, all the time listening
so lost in your ice blue eyes

the river raged with your waves
and there were times i couldn't even sleep next to you
the ripples were too rapid
but i did it anyway
that was me
tied to you in ways even i didn't understand

and always half of you
but all of me
all of my strings knotted into your muscle memory

not that it matters anymore

i used to know us
and the vague uncertainties
that come along with loving you
you're all or nothing
and today the nothing reigns supreme

today it should be raining buckets
because my heart is pouring
but there is sun and the clouds fold into me
and i flit about like that tiny bird
still lost in the icy blue of your eyes



1. findpatti on March 14, 2010

wow. I really needed to hear these words today.

2. stella_russo on March 15, 2010

glad i could be of some assistance, p.

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About stella russo

i just keep walking...not much else to do really..
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