Simple Ideas

Fictional Characters in Nonfictional Buildings

Blogging | September 20, 2012

It has recently come to my attention that fictional characters are inhabiting real buildings. I don’t know about you, but I find this objectionable. I mean they have to exist, these characters. And I’m ok with them passing through public buildings. Put them in the Madison Square Garden and have them watch a game. Send them through a tour of the National Gallery. This is fine. Millions of real people have been through these venue and shared them with equanamity. No blood, no foul, is what I’m saying here.

Sending them to college is where the problem starts. Just going to visit is fine, but are you going to give them a degree? What does that do to the people who got a real degree from that school? Four or more years of hard work on one hand. Does that balance a paragraph or two in a novel? I don’t think so.

I’ve built billions of dollars of buildings over my career. I build these building for real people. Now I’m hearing about this invasion of fictional characters just showing up and gallivanting through the building willy nilly! This does not the cockles of my heart warm. Oh, a chill it sends, I assure you.

Right now I’m in Alabama teaching my class for a week. What, I ask, just what is going on in my house while I’m gone. How many of these characters are running amok in my house? I paid half a million for that place. I pay a monthly security fee to an alarm company. But that protect me? Where are my property rights?

I can only think of one answer to this. I got to go put some smack down on some fiction writers.


Any Comments?

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