The Night Before

Love & Romance | October 26, 2010

It is the night before my wedding and I’m sitting on the beach. The sands are shining like pure gold in the soft light of the moon. The sea is turbulent; the waves are rising like fierce, hungry, black monsters against the inky blue sky; soon falling, defeated, into a pool of foam.

The wind was whistling past my ears, bringing a refreshing splash of the sea water, salty and moist. I am nervous and excited, I am afraid; I am unworthy of being your wife.

There have times when I have been immature, irrational; you have always adjusted yourself to fit into my fantasy world. I have cried and you have left everything to share my burden of pain. My tears have moistened your eyes. It surprises me to recall that you have been unable to enjoy anything without my happiness to stand by you.

When I have laughed, I have been oblivious to the joy it brings to you. Yet you have hidden your own pains just to make me laugh, just to make me smile. You have tolerated my hurting words, my grief, my failure, my selfishness. Why?

You have cared for me when I was sick. You have neglected your own health just to nurse me and entertain me through those lonely times on the sick bed. You have shown me hope for a better future, when I will be well and we will meet again.

You have made me woman but inside, I’m a child, who needs your company and your warm, protecting love. You have ignored your tired and weary body and you have played with me, all the childish games that I love to play. I have only urged you play on and you have done all you could to be a part of my game.

You have given me your hand to hold while I’m asleep, you have always silently watched over me, at all times, at all moments.

I still remember the day when you heard about my sickness. Even now you are unable to accept the fact that it is incurable. You have always blamed yourself for my failing health but how do I convince you that you are the drug that keeps me alive?

We have always eaten off each other’s hands, drank of each other’s cups; we have never been complete without each other.

If I have ever been carried away, you have brought me back to the land, just like the sea does. You have taken the blame for all my failure but never the credit for all my successes; which is rightfully yours.

Why do you shower me with love that I cannot equal? What have I done to deserve this ultimate blessing from God? How shall I ever be able to meet your unspoken needs? How shall I be your wife, when you have been no less than a God to me?

The waves caress the sands softly, yet intensely. The sea seems like an unending expanse, stretching forever into the unknown; just like your heart. I feel myself to be small and insignificant as I look up at the endless heavens meeting with the endless sea, somewhere far away and I shudder at the sheer enormity of God’s power.

About Natasha J

I'm 20 years old...trying to find a value for my life. i love to write. I use it as an outlet. I recently started painting.
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The woods are lonely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep...

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