Health & Wellbeing > Do-overs


Published: May 1, 2011

We all have reoccurring themes in our lives, circumstance we repeatedly bump up against. I believe these events are lessons for us to learn and grow from, if we choose. We are given a chance to deepen the learning, to take what we learned the last time we faced a challenge of this nature and do better, do different, or just do over. There is no right or wrong, success or failure, it’s all practice and data for next time we are at bat. Each time we are transformed by what transpired the last time we were faced with that familiar obstacle. Each time we do the best we are able under each set of unique circumstances.

What we choose to do to manage these circumstances can be rooted in things like, trust, love, ignorance or fear. Fear is a killer and can be found beneath most things that go wrong. Making a different choice despite the fear is monumental. It requires reaching deep, pulling on our courage and trusting. There is a certain amount of letting go and allowing things to unfold and not micromanaging what in reality we cannot control. The free fall attached to letting go can be terrifying until support shows up in the form or a smile, a touch, or kind words.

Whether this stepping out on a limb displays as trekking up a mountain, trusting that our body will be strong and keep us safe, or allowing someone to help us when we are vulnerable and frightened is an evolution of spirit. Each opportunity is a chance at redemption, making peace with ourselves and grace. Each time we are presented with the opportunity to push through a limiting belief that no longer serves us we recover a piece of our lives and ourselves. Thus proving we are stronger, more loved and safer than we had imagined.

It can also go wrong when we decide to put our head in the sand and ignore the beckoning to grow. The universe starts with pebbles, then stones, then bricks and onto boulders to get our attention. Doing the same thing expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Ironically it can also feel safe—as in we choose to dance with the devil we know, even if that devil strips us of our dignity, self-confidence and hope. Ignoring is an option for only so long before our lives blow up so ugly that even a pork chop tied around our neck won’t make the dog play with us.

The opportunities for do-overs come daily in a variety of sizes. Being aware of what you want to work on is all you need. An example is: if we wished we had been more present as a parent, a partner or a friend we don’t need to start from scratch. Every person we come in contact with can benefit from us listening to them, seeing them for who they are, being patient and good humored. Any contact we have with those around us can be more real, less surface by being honest and open. In fact even with adult children and those you felt you had not been there for in the past can be changed by you being more present, attentive and loving. It is never too late to change the dynamic of a relationship. If we are different, if we react in a new way, those around us will as well. As we shift we are open to different opportunities and experiences, like attracts like. It is as simple as if you want a friend, you have to be a friend, if you want to be loved, you have to love.

Each time that familiar theme comes knocking on our door we get another chance to use what we learned the last time. It can feel a lot like Groundhog Day. Some days I think to myself, “really this again?” I believe these do-overs will be ongoing as long as we have a pulse. We are presented all day, every day with either challenges or opportunities which are the same thing, what you see them as is what they are. How we choose to address them defines who we are and the quality of our lives, and really do want to waste all those good pork chops?


1. Susan on May 1, 2011

It was beautiful, Kyra. I've been hit by boulders at times. I know God just chuckles as he shakes his head and moves from the pebble to the rock to....

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